A couple of weeks ago I got an email from someone asking to speak with me for an article… for the CHICAGO TRIBUNE! Once my brain got over the initial shock and I began to process this idea, I of course emailed back and said SURE!
Then I became paralyzed with fear
Then I started practicing what I would say (I had no idea what I would say)
Then I started to get sick with nerves
Then I took a deep breath and said, “meh, I’ll just give it a shot and try not to make a total ass of myself”
When I finally got on the phone with her, she immediately freaked me out more when it became obvious that the article wasn’t necessarily about running. It was more about failing…. Gracefully. She said that she read the Runner’s World article I was in and really liked my attitude. http://www.runnersworld.com/runners-stories/dead-freakin-last-and-proud-of-it
Oh crap. I can talk about running until my head falls off, but nonrunning stuff? Uh oh. It turned out she was delightful to talk to and it wasn’t worthy of my millions of panic attacks. And it helped me remember that it’s not all about running all the time.
Running is something I LOVE! It’s my meditation, a struggle to overcome, a routine, it’s my friend, my enemy, and it’s brought some absolutely wonderful people into my life. But it’s not always about running. Working through my current health issues has made it clear as a bell that there’s more to me and my life than running. Thank god.
I think there is a fear in every obsessive compulsive runner’s mind of, “what would happen if I couldn’t run?” I’ve entertained the topic briefly; however, recently I had to look that topic directly in the face. And it’s been good and bad. Good because I’ve done projects I never had time to do! We finally put flooring in that room that we ripped up the carpet in 4-5 years ago! I sorted through my clothing and books! I started working on meditation to deal with my horrible stress management skills. I found out I LOVE walking. And I’ve found that I can be completely satisfied with a 4 mile run even if it is at a 15 minute mile pace. I think I got so blinded by ultras and MORE MILES ALL THE TIME that I forgot how lovely a 4 mile run can feel. It’s been bad because I hate not knowing when I’ll be better. I can’t stand the fact that I’m not doing a fall race because Fall races are straight up magic. I feel completely disconnected from the running community that I love so much. Because, well I can’t really run much.
I've been forced to find out what I do when I’m not running all the time. Frankly, it turns out I sit on the couch a LOT. I’m working on that. Running has taught me a million life lessons, but I’m so thankful to realize that I don’t have to be running 30+ miles a week to appreciate them. This article in the Tribune helped remind me that there is more to me than running and it’s not ALL about running all the time. I guess this opportunity came at just the right time.
Read it here: