Decisions decisions....

This dumb trail race I was supposed to run in December! You see, it was scheduled to happen in December and then Indiana got hit with our first snowpocalypse of the year. Lots of snow and travel restrictions. I have to admit, when the race was canceled I was KIIINNNDDD of relieved. I didn't want to run it in a ton of snow, but I didn't want to admit that I wouldn't make the cutoff in a bunch of snow.

I few weeks later the race director sends out an email announcing the RESCHEDULE! Gulp. I can't imagine how hard it would be to be a race director that has to cancel a race. What do you do? I mean, we did all sign a waiver saying NO REFUNDS! I was secretly hoping they would just offer us all a discount on the 2014 race. And that was ONE of the options offered. They actually gave a few options;

-Run the race on the new date
- Get a little cash back
- Discount on the 2014 race
- Don't run the race, no money back, and hey, we'll even mail you your shirt!

This is where my internal torture started.....

I was ready for the race on the first weekend of December, when it didn't happen, my brain COMPLETELY checked out and I moved on. Then all of the sudden the race is back in the picture. Crap crap crap crap. Could I run the race? Sure. But I just wasn't sure that I wanted to anymore.

But then I did want to

But then I didn't

But then I wanted to more than anything

But then it was the dumbest idea ever.

Then I had that great 18 miler on perfect trail conditions in perfect weather and I was READY TO RACE! Then there was a giant snow storm the Sunday before. GAH!!!! This is why winter races in the Midwest are ridiculous. It could be 60 degrees in January or it could be a POLAR VORTEX!!!! Yeah, that happened next. Then it got a little warmer.

I kept thinking... those trails are going to be awful. They'll be snowy, icy, muddy, and slippy. But I just WOULD NOT let it go. Why was that? It's not like I was ever going to win the race. It's not like this was the BIG race I had planned. It's just a cool race. So why was I torturing myself over it? I mean, I wasn't losing sleep, but I lost hours of my life caring way too much about a stupid race. Because it's just a race? Right? There are zillions of races every year. If I don't run one race it doesn't mean I'm a failed runner. What to do what to do...

A few days before the reschedule, we finally got word about the updated plan. The course was going to change from a point to point (super cool!) to an out and back with loops (not cool). And that's all it took for me. I wanted to do a point to point race. And I had no interest in a muddy, loopy, out and back race. So I opted out. Just like that. And all of the sudden it felt like a heavy weight had been lifted off me.

Why was it so hard for me to decide? Why did a course change make the decision so easy? I have no freaking clue. But I am so happy to move on. Will I register to run it in December?

Yeah, probably.... cause it could be 60 degrees! You never know?

A Decent RUN! A Decent Decision Run...

Remember how that race I was gonna do was canceled by a snow storm? It got rescheduled! Well there’s more to that story now too…. BUT as of New Year’s eve I was still determined to knock out that trail marathon in a week and a half. The only problem was ever since the reschedule… my long runs had been the pits.

 

You know how it is? I LOVE long runs. Love EM! But all my long runs since the marathon that wasn’t weren’t really playing out like they were supposed to. I cut miles, I felt crappy, I lost interest halfway through the run. It just wasn’t working. I got through the runs, so that’s good, but I kept thinking to myself… am I even trained to run this race anymore?

 

So after a not rainbows and unicorns run on Christmas Day, my husband and I planned to do ANOTHER long run on New Year’s Day. My plan for this run was:

 

18 miles.
Try to have fun.

On trails.
Try not to hate it.

On hilly trails.
Smile sometimes.

No mileage cutting.

 

If I could do that, I could do the race. No pressure, right?

 

Well, my job is very calendar year oriented. So, I’m one of those people that works an EXTRA long day on New Year’s Eve. This year, I worked 13.5 hours. Not exactly the day you want before a decision long run, but that’s what I got!

 

Even though my day before long run was not ideal, I tried to mimic race day morning. I ate a real breakfast, had some coffee, did some stretching and foam rolling, and took a Vespa. But I was still a nervous wreck when we got to the trail…

 

What if this run is a giant fail?

What if I’m ready to give up after the first 6 mile loop?

What if my ankle rolls?

What if my water line freezes?

 

Or WHAT IF IT GOES REALLY WELL AND I HAVE TO RUN THE RACE????

 

For the first loop I was joined by two friends. One, took of quickly because on a good day she’s much faster than me. And thanks to my lack of sleep and giant stress day the day before…. My heart rate was not letting me have a good day. My other friend decided my not good day pace was ok by her and we moseyed through a lovely 6 mile loop. I started the second loop quickly so that I couldn’t change my mind. For the second loop I took the trail in the opposite direction and regretted it for the two loooonnnnngggg slow uphill miles. I got loop three underway and ran into my husband who had already finished 3 loops and was done for the day…. For ONE second I wanted to be done too. But I felt ok, so I said, “sorry, I have to finish this loop, so it’s gonna be a while”.

 

The sun was out at this point it actually felt WARM out! SUN! I took the last loop easy and happily trotted back to the car. My husbands run was not his favorite, but I felt GREAT! This was the first long run I have had in so long that wasn’t some kind of disappointment! AND I got to start of the new year with a great 18 mile run! How cool is that?!?!?!!?

 

So…. According to my dumb “decision run” rules, I was ready to run the race.

Did I?

Well like I said at the beginning… there’s more to the story.


Does anyone else do decision runs? Or is it just me?

Christmas Running!

 

My husband and I don’t get time off during the holidays for family visiting. So we make our own rules. Sometimes I get sad about not getting together with family. But a lot of times I’m grateful to not be stressed out with planning and organizing.

Christmas and New Year’s Day both fell on a Wednesday this year. And typically my husband has Wednesdays off to do his long run. He immediately (and correctly) assumed that I would not be keen on him disappearing for hours on end on Christmas day. BUT, the more I thought about it, the more I thought, why not? In my head it was going to be the two of us out in the woods frolicking and laughing and getting back home to eat delicious food that was waiting in the crockpot. So did it turn out that way? Well…..

We did get to see a beautiful sunrise!

We had the woods all to ourselves. And my dear husband even ran at my standard snail pace. I had such high hopes! Those hopes were very quickly trashed when about 1.5 miles in I have a massive ankle roll that lands me on the ground. BUT I didn’t drive all the way out to this park to do a 1.5 mile out and back. WHERE’S MY FREAKING CHRISTMAS MAGIC? The first 6 mile out and back was harder and lamer than I wanted it to be. And if it was just me I would have contemplated throwing in the towel there. But I thought, well this is Husband’s long run day. This guy needs a freaking long run. So we headed out for an 8 mile loop (that I shortened to a 7 mile loop).

This loop was even worse due to stumbling around on my weakened ankle, walking because my ankle hurt so badly and having that stupid Feed the World song stuck in my head!

CHRISTMAS NIGHTMARE!!

When we finally got done and were eating snacks and drinking warm coffee, I said, “man I’m so glad you didn’t say let’s stop at 6, cause I totally would have stopped at 6”. Husband answered with, “ OH MY GOD! I totally wanted to stop at 6”. Teamwork! Even though the run was not my best work, it was still a cool way to spend Christmas morning with my favorite person.

I ran on New Year's Day too. It went much better. Give me a day or two and I'll write about that one too.

The Marathon that Wasn't.... Snowcumseh

I was supposed to run a marathon on Saturday…. The Tecumseh Trail Marathon. I ran it last year and it was AMAZING! It was 60 degrees out in DECEMBER and the course was beautiful, the volunteers were wonderful, and once race got going (late start=me being a giant stress ball) it was a fantastic day (read about it here)! So, I signed up for the race again, obviously I expected similar magic.

Early last week we started to see rumblings of an epic storm inching its way across the country. I’m a huge weather stalker most race weeks, but I was extra stalky watching this storm. The race has a time cutoff of 17 minute miles. I was “sure” this wouldn’t be a problem on clean trails, but add in snow? This is how my mind spent the week:

Check the forecast

How many inches of snow would make the race unattainable?

Check the forecast

Ice is ok, I could run in ice

Check the forecast

I don’t want to run in Yak Tracks…. What kind of screws do you put in your shoes for traction?

Check the forecast

3 inches of snow? I could run in the inches of snow

Check the forecast

It’s not going to be that bad

Check the forecast

It’s going to be SNOWMAGEDDON! Should I even charge my Garmin?

Check the forecast

It’ll be fine, just a single digit wind chill. I can run in cold

Check the forecast

I’ll charge my Garmin, but there is no way I’m going to be able to run this race

 Friday morning my husband and I woke up early to shovel the driveway. We were looking at 2-3 inches of snow on the driveway, but it wasn’t snowing at 5:30. I still had a smidge of hope… until I heard the weatherman say THE WORST IS COMING! Oh no….. word was we were going to be snow city all day. I knew my chances were slim to none that this was going to happen. Maybe my husband could still run it. He’s faster than me and a foot taller. But for me and my stumpy, slow running legs, it looked like the game was over.

At some point during the day we got word that the race was canceled. Canceled? Canceled. Whoa. No one expected the race to be canceled. Change the course from point to point to an out and back? Sure. But canceled… no way.

So how did I feel about it? Relieved, disappointed, sad, happy, all of it. I was relieved that I didn’t have to make that final call of; sure I’m stubborn enough to try it (possibly injuring myself and being out of commission). I was disappointed because it’s a great race! And even if my stumpy legs couldn’t run it, some folks might have been able to. Sad for the volunteers, the race director, the athletes, and everyone that had put their time, effort, and training into this event. Happy that I didn’t have to have an anxiety attack that my husband was STILL going to run it while I stayed safely at home picturing him with a broken leg in three feet of snow seven miles off the trail (I have a vivid imagination when it comes to anxiety).

For me, this wasn’t a “goal race”. I had a great 50k in September and a fun full marathon in October. I wanted to run this race, but ya know… stuff happens. If it had been the one race I was training for I would have been heartbroken. I get that.

So what did I learn?

1. If I’m going to sign up for a race in the winter in Indiana… expect ANYTHING!
2.           I am a control freak, but I can’t control the weather.
3.        Sometimes, shit happens
4. I really might need to see someone about my anxiety issues
5. I never EVER EVER EVER want to be a race director. EVER

Will I register for the race again? You bet I will! Cause when it’s not being screwed up by a stupid snow storm, it’s freaking awesome!

Bad Run + Good Run = Good Race? We'll see....

When I had been running for less than a year, my husband asked me if I would like a running log. I laughed out loud at him.

"Who uses those things? That's ridiculous. Why would I keep track of stuff like what shoes I was wearing an how many miles I'm running? I mean.... no thank you".

Fast forward to today. I log every run, what shoes I was wearing, and any interesting notes. I also have a blog that blathers on endlessly about running which I sometimes look back on as a form of running log. So, to answer the question, "who uses those things?" It turns out I do. Who knew?

I bring this up because I have one more marathon on Saturday. This weekend I ran 10 miles on Saturday and 6 on Sunday. The 10 mile run felt like crap. My legs were tired, the easy pace seemed impossible, I couldn't settle into a groove. In fact, the only saving grace of the run was the fact that I was running with a friend and we did get to see a beautiful sunrise. But it was one of those runs where you really question your training. The race I have coming up is challenging and there I was on a 10 mile run feeling completely spent. Crap crap crap crap crap.

Sunday, my husband and I didn't set an alarm and spent the morning lazing around the house. This seems like a great way to start the day, but for me... if I don't get out for a run early... I can lose motivation quickly. And that started to happen. Thankfully, when my husband showed the motivation to get moving, I reluctantly went along with him. I figured I'd slog through 6 miles and continue to punish myself for my crappy training. I was even whining as we headed onto the trail. Then everything changed. I started out counting the tenths of a mile pass... but within 3 miles I was screaming down trails with my arms flailing and a grin on my face, grabbing onto trees to navigate switchbacks and power hiking hills. It was PERFECT!

And then I remembered.... this is pretty standard for me. My weeks leading up to races typically have at least one super crap run and at least one really great run. This is standard. I know it's standard because of those stupid running logs that I had mocked a few years ago. oops.

So, today I'll just go ahead and assume that my crappy run and good run will equate to an excellent race day! That's the way it's worked before! Now back to my tapering....And did I mention the impending snow/ice/sleet storm that's supposed to hit?

All I Want For My Birthday Is...

My birthday is coming up and there are only two things I wanted…. To spend time with people I love and strong ankles.

When my husband and I were running in Tennessee in October, I had a pretty bad ankle roll. Not a terribly uncommon thing for me, really. I grew up clumsy and did gymnastics, so I was an ankle rolling mess for most of my childhood. It hurt and I knew it had weakened my ankle, but I got through the rest of the run and lots of hiking, so I was feeling ok.

I ran a full marathon on roads in October and my ankle felt strong. I thought it was all healed up and I’d be ready to switch back to trail running for my trail marathon in December. So…. The weekend after the Indianapolis marathon I set out on a 10 mile run on a favorite trail with some great friends! And then…. You guessed it, HUGE ankle roll. The kind that pop when it happens and your eyes tear up. The gal behind me saw it and was a bit disturbed by how painful it looked. It hurt. But, we were halfway through a 10 mile loop trail. And I could run on it. I got through the rest of the run and it hurt, but not terribly. Then I stopped moving, and then it started to feel like it was swelling to the size of a cantaloupe. I came home and rested, elevated, and iced. I’ve been through ankle rolls a million times and I figured it would clear right up!

It didn’t.  After resting all day Sunday, the swelling hadn’t gone down and there was the added bonus of discoloration! Ruh roh. By Monday I took my still swollen and discolored ankle to the doc, got some x-rays and braced myself for bad news. Thankfully, there wasn’t any!!!! I could even run, only on roads, and I was given a set of ankle exercises that I needed to do to get back on the trails.

So, I’ve been running on roads only for a month now and DILIGENTLY doing my exercises. Today was the day. I was either going to get through the run with strong ankles or I was going to have another bad ankle roll and the trail marathon wasn’t going to happen. No pressure, right?

My friend who has a birthday two days before mine and I had planned the run, both of us wondering how it was going to go. She had been doing shorter faster distances and not a lot of long runs. I had been going long, but only on roads. 18 miles of trails was going to hurt, or be awesome.

The good news is….STRONG ANKLES FOR THE WIN! Even with a leaf and stick littered trail my ankles held up beautifully! I think these exercises need to be part of my life forever, because it turns out they work. The goal moving forward will be to not blow them off now that my ankle is stronger (dumb runners, we always do stuff like that). The trails were tiring but beautiful, and the company was delightful.

As I get older, I don’t really need THINGS for my birthday. What I want more is time with the people I love and doing things that I love to do. Those are the best presents anyone could ask for.

Awesome Race! And I Didn't Run a STEP!

I've made it clear I LOVE a good Fall race. That's why I ran the Indianapolis Marathon a couple weeks ago. But there's another race in Indianapolis in the Fall that has a special place in my heart. The Monumental Marathon. In 2008 I ran my first half marathon there and it was an amazing experience. SO amazing, that I went back the next year and ran my first full marathon. It was while training for that full marathon that I first got involved with my running group and met some of my favorite people EVER. This race makes me all squishy inside but I just wasn't feeling like I wanted to run it this year.

So what do you do? I thought about just going to cheer, but what about.....volunteering?

I've only really volunteered for one other road race. It was back when I was still running 5ks only and I wanted to help out with the local half marathon. I scheduled myself to volunteer as early as possible because I love mornings and I was excited to help out! I reported for duty and was disappointed to find out that my co-volunteers were all college kids that had been forced to volunteer by their sororities and fraternities. It was awful. At that point I NEVER thought I would volunteer for a race again. ever. ever.

Obviously I changed my mind. And I'm so glad I did. I signed up to volunteer from 8-11 at the finish line!!! I loved the idea of seeing the race from a completely different angle. I drove up that morning with a friend that was running the full. We met a few folks from the running group for photos hugs and merriment and then I headed to the volunteer check in to find out my duties.

Immediately I knew that this was going to be a much better experience than my previous race volunteering. Everyone was happy to be there, friendly, and fun. They had obviously CHOSEN to be there for the morning. Big sigh of relief. We were herded into a group and my group was told we would be handing out the space blankets right as the runners cross the finish line.

We waited there laughing and chatting. We were told to give anyone a blanket that wants it! Alrighty. The fun run kids came through and they were awesome. And then the 5K runners started coming through. We were giving out blankets to anyone that looked interested and were told by another volunteer leader that we needed to be stingier with them. Um... ok. We just shrugged our shoulders and kept on doing what we were doing. There were lots of kids running the 5k from local schools. They would cross in packs. Some were thrilled and some were annoyed by the whole situation. I put a blanket on one girl and told her she made that look easy! Her response was completely deadpan, "what's the big deal? I've done this before". Oh Ok......

The 5k runners poured through for a while longer and then we heard that the half marathoners were coming through. It was so cool to see the leaders come through the finish line. I've never witnessed the finish of a race and it was inspiring to say the least. BUT! Funny story... When the lead woman in the half marathon came through she hit the finish line ribbon and kept walking, holding it to her. She was then chased down by a volunteer who told her he needed it back because they use the same one for everyone.... Interesting? Who knew?

At about 2 hours the half marathoners started to pour in. I can't tell you how many times I said congratulations and good job. WOW! You think it's a big deal to finish your own race? Try watching thousands of people cross the finish line of their race. There was crying and barfing and hugging and collapsing and sky pointing and limping. I was lucky enough to see quite a few of my friends and tackle them with hugs and congratulations... oh and blankets, cause that was my job!

I also got to see the full marathon winners and holy crap!!!! These people LITERALLY run twice as fast as me, if not faster. How inspiring! I had lined myself up on the marathon finish side specifically so that I could see some extremely talented runners from my town cross the line. And they were amazing!!!

When my shift was over, I handed over my "credentials" and headed out for some coffee. My feet were freezing and soaking wet from the condensation that had accumulated on the blankets that were put out the night before. My gloves smelled like sweaty runner and armpits, and I had a bit of runner puke on my jacket. IT WAS THE BEST WAY TO SPEND A SATURDAY MORNING EVER!!!