How do I describe my running?

I am not fast

I am not talented

But I AM PERSISTENT!

Running does not come naturally to me. I started running because a good friend that was a runner described to me the way she began running. She said she started with run/walking. Run 30 seconds, walk a minute. Well, any stupid jerk can run for 30 seconds! Even me! That was 2007. That’s when I started this silliness.

After 6 months of run/walking, I ran my first 5k in my neighborhood at about 6am. It took me 45 minutes and I was thrilled! Turns out a 15 minute mile is not worthy of a happy dance in the general running community (glad I didn’t jump on the message boards to brag), but to me it was like breaking the sound barrier. I have sped up some since then, but not much. I’m a mediocre runner and most days I’m ok with that.

I’m not a writer. As a matter o fact, just writing this is giving me the sweats because I am flashing back to school when I had to write stupid dumb papers about stupid dumb things. Right now my head is counting words (remember the 200 word essays?) and trying to figure out how to enlarge this text to make it appear that I have written more than I actually have. So don’t expect literary genius, or proper grammar, or correct use of punctuation, or epically long posts.

Here are some words and phrases I may overuse:

I ran

This is either the best idea or the worst idea ever

Ball sucking slogfest

Macho dickwad

I also overuse quotation marks and …

Good, now that I have pumped you up with disclaimers and horror stories of bad grammar… LET’S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!

Welcome to the ridiculous mind of a persistent runner.