I run slowly, but I can HEAR you just fine!

I started this race once, in the middle-back, you know... where the party is. We like to chit chat and make friends back there. No rush to "get done" with the race like you people that start races in the front.

So the gun goes off and off I go at my usual smile on my face, start of the race putter. La dee da... seeing the sights. There are some family types in their yard cheering for us. Beautiful day. And then, one of those adorable children leans over to his mother and says, "THESE PEOPLE AREN'T EVEN RUNNING!" For real? I assure you kid, I'm running. I'm running the best I can you little turd. Let's see you knock out 13.1 miles! Maybe you would start off easy too. I bet you eat boogers you jerk. YOU DON'T KNOW ME!

I did a race in furnace heat once and decided I'd do run/walk intervals, because it just seemed like a reasonable idea. So I'm four minutes running, one minute walking just getting through. And I hear a lady say, "What's with these people that run and walk? I mean that just seems stupid. Why would you want to do that?" This was a grown-up. I mean kids say dumb crap all the time. But this was a fellow runner. A fellow woman runner, who let's be honest wasn't going much faster than me. Get over yourself Princess Judgement!

Really, I love to run. And I do it the best I can. And I can hear you. If you would like to say crappy things about me or make judgements on the way I run... could you please do it out of earshot like a civilized person? Please and thank you.